Week 3 Story: Modern day Iliad
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| 1920s New York. Source: picryl |
In the streets of New York, there were two gangs battling for dominance: The Achaeans and the Trojans. One day, a Trojan man named Paris got bored of staying in the same turf, and decided to take the off the beaten path. As a son of the crime Priam, he had to sneak out at night when all the bodyguards are sleeping. After wandering around for quite some time, he stumbled upon a beautiful sight to behold. Living in Sparta Blvd, was a stunning woman named Helen. Helen, while brushing her hair, looked out the window and see a handsome man looking back at her.
"Hey shawty, what's your name?" Paris exclaimed.
"My name is Helen, what about you?"
"The name is Paris. Hey, do you want to get out of here?"
"Sure, let me pack my bags!"
Helen packed up everything that she could and make a rope made out of cloth. She climbed down the window and together, they both ran away from New York. What they thought was a childish adventures turned into a blood bath, as neither knew about each other's royal family tree. Helen was a daughter of a crime boss and she was destined to marry Menelaus in an arranged marriage. Her decision to run away was her way of defying her fate.
Thinking that Helen was kidnapped, the Achaeans waged war against the Trojans. Achilles, the best gangster on the Achaeans' side, refused to fight because of his mother's wishes. As a result, his partner, Patroclus, was stabbed by Hector, the brother of Paris. Achilles' inaction caused the death of his partner and best friend. Filled with anger, Achilles enter the turf war, seeking Hector for revenge. Achilles shot Hector in the neck and he fell to the ground, dead. With Hector's death, Priam asked for a truce in order to have a funeral ceremony for his beloved son.
The consequences of running away will caught up to the young lovers once they come back from their little vacation.
TO BE CONTINUED
Author's Note: The story of Helen and Troy reminds me of Romeo and Juliet so I loosely based the that part on the movie of modern day Romeo and Juliet starring Leonardo DiCaprio. I chose the time period based on Al Capone during the Prohibition era, one of the most notorious crime boss in history. I used Homer's Iliad retold by Alfred. J. Church as my main source. In the story, Helen was actually kidnapped by Paris but I changed it into a love story. I wrote that Hector was shot in the neck as a parallel to Hector getting speared in the neck by Achilles in the story. Achilles would eventually get kill by Paris for killing Hector but I decided to end the story here because that is where Alfred. J. Church ended his story.
Bibliography: "Homer's Iliad." Written by Homer and retold by Alfred. J. Church (1907). Web source.
I really like the incorporation of the Romeo and Juliet aspect of Helen and Paris, the forbidden love, the opposing gangs, it works well with this retelling. The Al Capone 1920s setting also adds another element of interest that I think makes your story very interesting.
ReplyDeleteThe part where Paris says "shawty" is actually hilarious. A total laugh out loud moment. I am a bit confused as to why Helen is so readily willing to go with Paris. I know she's trying to escape her fate, as mentioned later in the story, but her willingness to go with this man she just met is a bit alarming. There seems to be a deeper reason behind it, maybe he's extremely charming? However, that's not conveyed through the dialogue so maybe mention something about it in Helen's inner monologue?
Anyways, I really liked your story overall. I think that the way you played with the setting and turned the kidnapping into a willingness to leave, making it a love story, was a fun choice!
I really enjoyed the modern gangster take on the Iliad. I think if the whole story could be rewritten this way, it would be an awesome novel. I did notice a few grammar mistakes in the story, it might help to look over it a couple more times and read it out loud? It would help with the flow of the story I think. But, like I said, I really enjoyed it! I like how it was Helen's choice to leave and how you based it off the Romeo and Juliet movie with Leonardo DiCaprio in it. (One of my favorites of his!) Great story!
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